Very few societies on earth are considered matrilineal. As such, a (male) western visitor would most likely be culture-shocked when he travels to Western Sumatra and discovers that it is the husbands who move into their wives’ households and husbands who leave the household in the event of divorce.
Male members of the Minangkabau society are certainly valuable members of the community who participate not only in critical household management, but in the management of religious and political matters as well. Economically, however, it is the Minang women who inherit land and property from their mothers and attend to their management, while their husbands may elect to remain home and attend to the children and the household.
But the Minang culture is only one of the 300 that characterize the unbelievably multi-colored Indonesian society. While a matrilineal society exists in Western Sumatra, it does not hold true for the rest of Indonesia which is predominantly Muslim (and therefore regard women differently).
As varied as the culture and customs of Indonesians as it may seem, there are certain traits shared by all regardless of religion or region of origin. Below are some guidelines for decorum a visitor should observe as he or she explores this country of 300 cultures.
- As with the rest of Southeast Asia, elders are accorded with respect. This means that age is an important function in hierarchy.
- Figures of authority and those who have achieved lofty status are given precedence and respect.
- Direct language is considered offensive. Indonesians, like the rest of their Southeast Asian neighbors, are not comfortable with confrontation, as this usually results to humiliating someone, which is culturally considered extremely rude.
- Exchanging proper greetings and saying “thank you” are indicators of good behavior. Because Indonesia is more than 80% Muslim, greet people, especially those in conservative Muslim regions, with “assalamu alaikum” (peace be upon you) and respond to it by saying “walaikum salam” (and peace be upon you).
- Handshakes, nods and smiles are accepted forms of acknowledging another person. When it is not possible to do so because of distance, you can put your hands together on your chest and blow slightly.
- Do not touch the opposite sex in greeting, especially when you are greeting a conservative Muslim.
- Do not touch the head of an Indonesian adult, as the head is considered sacred.
- Do not point with your index finger. Point with your thumb instead.
- Do not raise your chin and place your arms on your hips akimbo. It is understood as an expression of superiority.
- Modulate your voice. Speaking too loud is considered inappropriate.
- Always pass food or gifts to another person using your right hand.
- Similarly, shake hands, touch someone, eat with, receive something or point to something or someone using the right hand.
- Do not make sounds while eating (slurping, sound of utensils) nor play with food.
- Wait for others to start eating or drinking. If you want your drinks refilled, finish the whole glass or cup. If you want to have second helpings, feel free to get some more from the communal dish.
- Wear appropriate clothing when entering mosques. Individuality expressed in skimpy fashion is not only disrespectful in this predominantly Muslim country, it may result to expulsion from the vicinity.
