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Knowing Your Stress Triggers and Learning Stress Relief Skills

My wife and friends and I just returned from vacationing in Southeast Alaska. In Juneau, the small capital of Alaska, a cable car connects the city center to the top of Mount Roberts. My wife loves these experiments – I hate them. I didn’t realize I had acrophobia – extreme fear of heights – until I drove to a small village in India called Nainital. This pretty little British hill station sits 6,000 feet in the Himalayas. The trip almost paralyzed me. The experience also humbled me as I learned what it is like to have extremely high levels of stress, anxiety and fear.

Some people love extreme sports and like to push their stress levels to the limit. Others like to manage their experiences carefully to minimize stress. Each of us reacts differently to difficult or threatening experiences. Some people love abseiling or sky-jumping – others freak out slightly when driving on a road that has a steep slope right next to it or when they have to climb onto the roof to clear the gutters. As I said, for me driving on very exposed roads is extremely stressful and I feel anxious and nervous during this part of any trip. I know heights stress me out so I take steps to make sure I don’t drive on such roads or, if I have to, I drive with extreme caution. My stress relief strategies then are avoidance or extremely cautious exposure.

What are the triggers for you to feel extremely stressed? What things, creatures, events, meetings, circumstances are your stressors? There are many groups of triggers or stressors that will increase your adrenaline rush and make you feel anxious and worried. Let’s take a look at some of them, and as you go through my list of triggers, note which ones are of particular concern to you.

There are dozens of stressors and stress triggers in the workplace: organizational changes, unfair or excessive workloads, too much unpaid overtime, stressful demands and expectations, tasks that do not meet job specifications. the individual’s job, boring and unmotivating work, no work (or little) autonomy in the work situation, precariousness and threat of dismissal, inadequate training for the requirements of the position, insufficient, inappropriate or excessive supervision, environment work that does not meet occupational health and safety standards, insufficient resources to do the job. Others include an inappropriate social culture in the workplace, for example, racist, harassing, discriminatory, poor relationships with co-workers or bosses, and dramatic workplace events, for example, a death, serious injury, hold-ups. The list is almost endless and the wonder is that we get any job done. If we don’t have effective stress relief strategies at work, our productivity is seriously compromised.

Some people have irrational and persistent fears that cause stress. One creature that causes instant revulsion in many people is the snake. There are many other emotional or internal stressors such as fear of animals, insects, people or places. For some, the internal triggers are being in social settings and not knowing what to say. Worries about looking silly or stupid. Fear that you are not dressed appropriately for the occasion. Worries about what others think of you. Preoccupation with your body shape, size, weight – too big buttocks, belly sticking out – you know.

Since most of us live in families, we are well aware of the joys and stresses that families create. Concerns about the upbringing and development of your children and/or their behavior, relationship problems, financial difficulties. Drugs are always a concern for parents and for the victims themselves. Feeling dependent is a stressor. Triggers can be unwanted news, loyalty issues, fears for the future.

Each of us must build our own stress management and relief strategies. What works for one person does not work for another. I propose a model that I call BE CALM. The acronym serves two purposes: to remind you to be calm in the face of a stressful event or a difficult, difficult person; and the six letters represent logical strategies for dealing with complex situations. The pattern is B for Build, E for Examine, C for Confront, A for Accept, L for Letting go (forgive, forget) and M for Carry on with your life. Obviously, one can strategize most effectively in a therapy session because simply thinking about a BE CALM pattern is often the first step in managing and relieving stress. We don’t need to feel stressed because we are all entitled to a full, happy, stress-free and productive life.

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